Day 97/ 365
Today has been a relaxing day so far. I went for morning hot yoga, took Mayhem on a morning walk, had lunch with my family, a quick chat with my husband, and then some time alone with my thoughts. It’s a Saturday, so I skipped out on work today, without guilt because that’s just what I feel like doing right now. It’s also a long weekend, I think I am going to allow myself to take the entire long weekend off to stay with my thoughts and plan for my working week (and overall life) ahead.
I have had ups and downs with my emotional and mental health – but for the past couple days, I am feeling so much better. I feel that taking out some time to blog (and self-reflect) daily really helps me, so I have made a promise to do this for myself because I hate how I feel when I am not in a good place mentally and emotionally. It is the worst feeling in the world. that I don’t even want to try and describe right now. And if I have found something that helps me, there is no reason not to do that. It doesn’t take much. So here’s a promise to myself.
We all have our internal struggles and daily battles with ourself. Some of us keep it cool and put together most of the time for as long as we can and then there eventually comes a time where we’re not able to keep it cool anymore. These battles and struggles have to be dealt with – one way or the other. Today, I am dealing with this internal battle by actually prioritizing myself. By getting to know myself better by blogging. By being honest with myself. By daily reflecting. By analyzing my thoughts, etc. I am happy with this new found momentum and hope I am able to keep up.
Here’s to working hard on prioritizing myself, to keeping myself emotionally and mentally strong, and to learning to love myself – because I truly deserve it. I am worthy of love and affection. And it’s time I stopped looking outside for support and understanding and everything else that I’ve ever wanted and start looking within. Because I have everything I’ll ever need – just gotta find it and make it happen for myself. For years, I have felt so unbelievably sad because I kept feeling that my husband didn’t ‘love’ me anymore or wasn’t ‘in love’ with me and this thought almost completely ruined my life. Today, I am choosing to love and be in love with myself rather than placing a huge amount of pressure on another human being to make me feel complete. That is an unbelievable amount of pressure and if I can’t love myself and take responsibility for my happiness – how could I expect someone else to do for me, what I haven’t been able to do for myself. Looking forward to this new found love for life and for myself !