On June 1st2020, it was my first day being 27 and I had decided on a 365 day challenge to spend time on myself. During this challenge, the plan was to make time to take care of myself – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I haven’t actually been able to do that consistently. It’s been on and off because I always get caught up in something. Something ends up bringing me down. I lose my motivation. Or I am faced with a pressing deadline for something related to my work and business. Or I am super stressed with the business which interferes with my ability to take care of myself. So on and so forth.
I’ve been consistently blogging since Thursday September 3rd. Everyday for the past 5 days, I made it a point to openly reflect on my thoughts (and write them out). This has already helped me tremendously. I don’t always have so much time to stay with my thoughts and do daily reflections when daily life starts with work and with everything else that needs to get done. But I have been off work since Friday. I only checked in for a couple hours remotely on Friday. Other than that, I’ve basically been able to enjoy a 4 day long-weekend. This weekend has been very good and relaxing and energizing and full of self-discovery. I am happy. I have learnt so much about myself. So much has happened (and improved). I don’t feel like I am the same person I was on Thursday. I feel like I have experienced tremendous growth.
I’ve had trouble being able to focus on myself and on the 365 challenge because something always got in the way. This last Thursday, the day I re-started consistently blogging, I was at my absolute worst that I have been in what feels like my entire life. There was so much self-induced pain and suffering and mental anguish. I can’t even begin to explain myself or what I was thinking or experiencing. However, it was my thoughts after that specific moment (that moment that was the lowest point in my mental health and overall life) that I decided that I did not deserve this anymore. I decided to take accountability and responsibility for how I was feeling and to make myself better. I decided that from now on, and for the rest of this 365 day challenge, I will put myself first. First –> me. Second –> everything else including work, business, husband, home, etc. etc. etc.
That’s exactly what I have done for the past 4 days. I put myself first. I feel so energized and fresh. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I feel so good and thankful to myself for doing this. I feel so thankful for the low point of my life which helped bring me to this new normal: to learn to take care of myself first. I have a VERY supportive husband for which I am so grateful. He is so kind, loving, caring, generous and most of all: supportive. I truly love him so much and cannot imagine my life without him by my side. He has always been there for me and has supported me with all of my decisions. It’s because of his hard work and support, that today I have the luxury of being able to put myself first and everything else second – for this I will truly forever be grateful. Looking forward to the next 266 days of my 365 day challenge and jasdeepsjourney!